“O LORD, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you. May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry. For my soul is full of trouble and my life draws near the grave.”
– Psalm 88:1-3 NIV
Pior to my separation and eventual divorce, I actually felt worthless as a Christian, believing I was no longer valuable to God because of the condition of my current circumstances with regard to my marriage. During the process and procedures of the divorce, God allowed me to see the lives of those around me who were serving in ministry at the time, but also had experienced divorce. This was a source of comfort and encouragement for me, moreso, because I just wanted to move forward and begin life anew being single and feeling again what it felt like to be significant, confident and secure. The first hurdle I had to leap over was accepting the reality of the condition of my current circumstances, forgiving myself, my former spouse and regaining my spiritual equilibrium that would allow me to not only survive, post divorce, but strive and thrive. It was my mission and personal ambition to see myself in a better place and everyday make the necessary choices and take action that would help me get there. While I was married, and since then, I was a co-facilitator of a parenting program sponsored by The National Family Resiliency Center, Inc. The consistent reflection upon effective strategies for co-parenting, how to cope with grief and anger, talk with your children and remain consistent in your discipline were helpful in keeping me accountable to what I needed to do while sharing these strategies to encourage and inspire others towards resiliency.
I adopted the personal mantra, ‘I am not a victim in my circumstances,’ and ‘I am not above injustice,’ to keep me from resigning to the mentality of being stagnant in blame, not taking charge of what is within my ability and responsibility to affect and influence change. This way of thinking is what I learned through presenting the seminars from one of my professional colleagues that is often presented when we talk about diffusing anger with positive self-talk. Understanding what Christ suffered for me, and many others before me, I resolved to not resign to repeating the refrain, ‘woe is me,’ or ‘why me?’ Even as a presenter, you learn, talking about what to do and doing it is sometimes difficult when you’re the one encountering the challenges associated with what needs to be done. Thankfully, having the resource of NFRC has been a tremendous influence in helping me in my personal circumstances as I shared the helpful information with others.
Through all I have encountered, my faith in Christ has been a tremendous resource that has enabled me to progress a long way from that man who felt so worthless so many years ago. My recent reflection upon the Psalm (88) referenced as the inspiration for this post is a great illustration of how I felt during the years associated with what I encountered post divorce. This Psalm and many verses in the bible like it have helped me to cope with the realities associated with my transition and I now offer to share the insights and words of encouragement and comfort I’ve received to those on the path to resiliency looking for grace to help them in their season of family transition and change. No matter how dark the moment or difficult the challenge know that God hears your prayers, sees you in your circumstances, is concerned about you and will extend grace to you to help you experience resiliency. Is there anything too hard for God?
May God bless you and help you draw closer to Him through prayer to spread your concerns before Him and release to Him the turmoil, anxiety and stress so you may encounter the relief He wants for you despite the misfortune, loss and injustice of your circumstances.